The Hobbit - Ramble - Ep 15

[ach_sss_no]

Livebloggy notes while reading The Hobbit by J. R. R. Tolkien, chapter 15. These are notes I'm making in the process of assembling a proper chapter-by-chapter review of the book. There was some indication of interest in seeing a liveblog-style thing when I asked on Tumblr, so I'm posting my notes.  
 

 Back to Bilbo and the dwarves. They’re hanging out on the hill where a lot of birds are gathering. The thrush is back- Balin laments that he can’t understand the thrush’s language and reminisces about some birds he used to talk to and I will be brutally honest with you. This part of the book feels just a little, just a tiny bit, like Tolkien didn’t quite know how to end it. Just a little. 

 

Next up the thrush fetches a one hundred and fifty year old raven that can talk. Your fun fact for the day is that real ravens can talk. Not... quite as well as this one, though. here's one that keeps saying 'boop boop'

 

The raven says Smaug is dead, but a ton of people are massing to take the gold from the mountain and Thorin had maybe better be prepared to share. Thorin says no. 

 

Be he foe or friend, be he foul or clean, brood of Morgoth or bright Vala, Elda or Maia or Aftercomer, Man yet unborn upon Middle-earth, neither law, nor love, nor league of swords, dread nor danger, not Doom itself, shall defend him from Fëanor, and Fëanor's kin, whoso hideth or hoardeth, or in hand taketh, finding keepeth or afar casteth a Silmaril.

 

Wait that’s not it

 

"We hates Bagginses."

"No, not this Baggins."

"Yes, every Baggins. All peoples that keep the Precious. We must have it! "

 

wait that's not it

 

You and your people shall not be forgotten. But none of our gold shall thieves take or the violent carry off while we are alive.

 

That’s it. Thorin dies in a few chapters, by the way. Spoilers. How to die a horrible death in the Tolkienverse: swear an oath like that one.

 

Thorin asks the raven to go get him a dwarf army. We’re up to three now, by the way. Elf army, dwarf army, human army. I remember there’s an orc army coming, and I can’t remember what the fifth one is. We’ll find out together.

 

The dwarves prepare to be besieged in the mountain, I mean, defend the mountain, I mean, be besieged by at least two armies in the mountain and inevitably run out of food. 

 

The men and elves arrive and make camp. The elves immediately start partying. Bilbo wishes he could join them. Thorin tries to cheer him up by striking up dwarven war chants. Bilbo isn’t cheered up.

 

Bard shows up with spearmen and argues that some of the hoard belonged to his ancestors and also the Lake-men took heavy losses to the dragon and could really use some of that ancestral gold returned. Thorn basically tells him to kick rocks. Also, he says Thranduil sucks (understandable; Thranduil did throw him in jail and all)

 

So now the dwarves are officially besieged, even though Bard asked for only one twelvth of the treasure and the way it’s described, the treasure is so incredibly valuable that you can easily lose that much and be A-OK. Cool. Bombur, Fili and Kili are the only ones who don’t want to fight because they are cool. Bilbo is irritated. End chapter. 

 

I'm not really much of a strategic thinker but I feel like if this was an RPG I was playing and I got a pop up saying: ENCOUNTER: This dude wants 8.3% of all your money and in return you will NOT immediately start a combat between his two armies and your thirteen guys + Bilbo Baggins, I would click 'give him the money'. Maybe I'm just a wimp. I don't know. The hundred and fifty year old raven agreed with me.